My Sentiments Exactly

Now that we are in full summer vacation mode (i.e., no preschool) and Charlie has decided he doesn't need a nap anymore I have found that I have very little time on my hands. Lately my time is spent helping the kids with their various weird projects that they come up with. Here's a rundown of what we did yesterday:

• Charlie makes "coffee" by scooping the dirt from our poor little tomato sproutlings into a funnel attachment on his water table.
• Charlie has potty accident #1
• I do my ten millionth load of laundry for the week
• Emma makes "apple soup" by taking three plastic bowls, a colander and a pot out of my kitchen and pouring water and apples from one container to the next.
• I clean up apple soup aftermath
• We go down three flights of stairs to play outside and ride bikes
• Everyone decides they're hungry, so we go back upstairs to make sandwiches and bring everything back downstairs.
• I read about 1/4 of an article in the paper while sitting on the front steps.
• There is screaming and much commotion coming from Charlie on his scooter (potty accident #2).
• We all go inside for a change of clothes for Charlie.
• We all go back outside to ride bikes again.
• I read another 1/4 of a newspaper article
• Emma decides she's sticky and wants to take a shower.
• We go up four flights of stairs to the shower.

This gets us to about 12:30 or so. The rest of the day was worse...Charlie opted not to nap and just hung out in his room fooling with the radio and playing with cars instead. Ever since the big-kid bed came into our lives, Charlie has not napped. I am beginning to think the big-kid bed was a big, bad mistake. But, I would hate to be going through this transition with Charlie when I have a newborn, so I want to get the torture over with now. Charlie does perfectly fine without a nap until about six p.m. and then he is a hot mess. He flings himself all around, throws things and behaves as though he needs to be strapped down and given an epidural. Last night I was happily making brinner (Breakfast for dinner! Everyone's favorite!), thinking I would ply Charlie with french toast, eggs and bacon and then tuck him into bed nice and early (thanks to the tornado that came through earlier the sky was blessedly dark at 6:30 and I actually had a shot at getting the kids to bed much earlier than normal). Instead of eating his brinner, Charlie went into full meltdown mode and was inconsolable. Meanwhile, Emma could not be bothered to come eat because she was having a Project Runway moment. She was determined to make an "all-star shirt" so that she could play super girl. I don't know how she came up with the idea for this shirt, but she would not stop until she had completed her mission. I wish I had taken a picture, but I was too busy holding a foaming-at-the-mouth Charlie to point and shoot. Anyway this shirt was incredible. First she made actual sleeves and drew stars on them. The sleeves fit her arms perfectly. Then she cut out the bodice part and taped it all together and it was an actual shirt! I was truly impressed. I have never been able to sew anything, but I have a great respect for those who can. I was telling Emma how proud I was in between Charlie's screams and saying she should celebrate her shirt with some yummy brinner, but then she got really frustrated that she couldn't get the shirt over her head (the shirt needed a zipper). So then in true diva fashion, she ripped the shirt from her body and tore it to shreds, crying in a dramatic heap on the floor.

So much for brinner. Thankfully the kids did go to bed earlier than normal, thus leading me to the conclusion that I could solve a lot of the problems in my life with blackout curtains in the kids' room. Then it will always be bedtime in there (evil laugh).

I read this blog last night that made me laugh with relief that I am not alone in my quest for a little me-time. Yesterday was not my finest moment as a mom. I felt resentful of my job as part-cleaning lady, part-Nurse Ratchet and I know the kids picked up on it. Generally, I prefer for my job to be more like that of Julie the cruise director from Love Boat. Oh well, today is a new day and I will try to be better. I will also try to find some blackout curtains.