Hints from Heloise, a parody

Have you ever read the "Hints from Heloise" column in the newspaper and thought to yourself, that is the most obvious thing I've ever heard in my entire life? Maybe it's just me.

Dear Heloise,

I thought your readers might be interested to know that sometimes after we've eaten some beans that come in a can, I wash the can out and then use it for other things like pencils or even pens. Be sure to take lid off and dispose of it first. That is important.


Dear Heloise,
When my family of four can't finish the dinner I've made for them, I wrap it up in some Saran Wrap and put it in the refrigerator. The refrigerator keeps it cold and the Saran Wrap keeps the food from drying out and tasting like the other food in the refrigerator. Then we eat it the next day at another meal time. We have a silly name for meals like this at our house: "leftovers."


Dear Heloise,
In case your readers are wondering what to do with yesterday's newspaper, I have a great tip! I like to take a newspaper that has already been read and crumple it up into a little ball. Once you set a match to it, this ball of newspaper becomes very flammable. It is a great way to start a fire! Fire is good for heating your skin or your home on a cold night. And it provides light! (Light helps you to see things in the dark.)

Dear Heloise,
I have a helpful hint for readers who are always finding they are without something important when they are out and about. I realized I was always needing glasses to read a menu in a dimly lit restaurant, but I would often forget them at home. When it came time to pay the bill, I was completely useless without the wallet I use for my dollar bills, coins and credit cards. Then there was the set of keys I needed to get into my house, my car and office. Well, I have forgotten these things for the last time and here's how: I now care a small leather bag with me everywhere I go. It is just the right size for carrying my glasses, my wallet, keys and maybe a few other essentials with me when I go out. It even has a thin leather strap so that I can hook it on my shoulder and be hands-free! No more getting locked out of my house or stranded in parking lots for me!

Dear Heloise,
A few months ago you printed a recipe for boiled water. Can you please share that with us again?

Mary Smith
Columbus, OH

Dear Mary,
Here is the recipe for boiled water you requested. This classic may be one of our most requested recipes!

Fill a metal pot with water. Water from the tap is best. Do not use toilet water.
Put the pot on the stove and turn the stove to HIGH.
Walk away and do something else. A watched pot never boils.
When you see bubbles and steam, you'll know your water is boiling.

Boiling water can be used for making Easter eggs, cleaning metal blinds, sterilizing baby bottles, making tea...the list is endless!

Haha...happy Friday!

Love,
Elizabeth

Curious George, shin guards, and rainbows

The soundtrack from the movie version of Curious George is pumping in the boys' room right now. Charlie is in love with this CD and with Curious George in general these days. I never knew Jack Johnson could be so very LOUD. These mellow numbers are not meant to be heard at volumes that hurt your brain. Ahhhhhg....Jack Johnson, stop freaking screaming at me about friendship and recycling!

Life is moving at a breakneck speed lately. We are now a two-soccer-game-per-weekend family. How in the world did that happen. It's nuts. Charlie is a hilarious soccer player. He claims to be playing defense, but really what he does is stay about ten feet from the ball at all times and kind of hustle around while cheering for other people to kick the ball. I couldn't make the most recent game, but Brandon said Charlie totally ran out of gas about halfway through. At one point during the game he actually leaned on the coach and started moaning. If only someone had thought to play some Curious George, then he would've gotten pumped!

Speaking of soccer...what's up with the oranges? I had no idea this was such a thing.

This past Saturday, we had two soccer games and two birthday parties, one of which we were hosting. Sometimes I have to remind myself that this is really my life, and not a commercial for a minivan.

So without further ado....

Rainbow birthday party pictures!

First we painted watercolor rainbows. Mellow songs from my rainbow mix CD played quietly in the background. This was a nice, calm way to start the party. Ahhhh...don't you just love little girls and how they will serenely paint rainbows on command?

We had a lego table for the boys just in case they didn't want to paint watercolor rainbows. And they didn't.

Decorations: We TPed our own tree in rainbow colors. Awesome! We also had balloons in rainbow colors. Joy!

We had a "rainbow walk." This was sort of like a cake walk. Kids walked in a circle to music. Whoever was on a special rainbow square when the music stopped could pick a few silly bands from a basket. DJ Teddy made this a little bit challenging, but still fun. The silly bands were a hit!

Rainbow silly bands!!

Rainbow scavenger hunt: We pretended like a leprechaun had left clues to finding the pot of gold he hid in our yard. Each clue led the kids to find a color of the rainbow. The first clue was "What rolls on the ground and holds something that cries? In it you'll find a red surprise." Then we hid a red ball in our stroller, along with the clue for the next object: an orange pumpkin hidden in our swing. The clue for that one was, "what flies through the air, but doesn't have wings? In it you'll find a little orange thing." Leprechaun poets we are not, but we had fun with it. Once they found all the colors of the rainbow, the leprechaun left them a clue to find the pot of gold. Each child got their own little bag of chocolate coins. Hooray! This was a big hit!

Then we ate pizza and hung out in the backyard for a little bit. After that we went inside to decorate the cake using tons of candy every color of the rainbow! Woo!

Teddy calls this cake "happy cake." I agree. Didn't the kids do a great job decorating? I may never decorate another cake again. They LOVED decorating it and they saved me lots of work!

Our party favor was the aforementioned CD of rainbow songs, a rainbow lollipop and the gold coins that the leprechaun left in our yard. I also let the kids help themselves to our gumball machine at various times throughout the party. Just call me Willy Wonka!

We had lots of fun. It was a very simple party, but a lot of love went into it. Those are the best parties in my opinion!